Why Mindset Matters
Embracing Kindness as a Way of Life
What I'm thinking about…
I recently had a conversation with an old friend about the impact of kindness. He was sharing how over the past week, he has been blessed with all these random acts of kindness from people in his life. He seemed surprised, but I reminded him that none of these things would be happening to him if he wasn’t the one initiating the kindness. In each case he shared, he was doing something for someone without expectation. This is key. Expectation leads to disappointment. When you do something without any expectation of something being returned, it is a pleasant surprise when someone does extend an olive branch to you. I think this was why he seemed surprised at the love surrounding him. Kindness and Love have a chicken-and-egg type of relationship. When you love someone you generally display acts of kindness towards them. In my experience, the random act of kindness to a stranger comes from a deeper level of connection, both with oneself and others. The beautiful thing about this is that these are available to us most, if not all the time.
This reminds me of the slogan for Khalsa Aid, an international charitable organization providing humanitarian aid in disaster areas and civil conflict zones around the world, which is to ‘Recognize the whole human race as ONE’.
What I’m listening to…
I’ve been dabbling with different types of music to improve focus and concentration over the past few weeks. Generally speaking, music with alpha waves, binaural beats or ischronic tones is designed to impact brain wave activity and improve concentration. Music consisting of rhythmic pulses stimulates the brain supporting sustained attention. The ‘Brain Food’ playlist on Spotify is a collection of upbeat, unique and catchy instrumental music that has been my go-to when writing.
A close second is the ‘Focus Binaural’ playlist for more intense work. Binaural beats in the lower beta frequencies (14-30Hz) have been linked to increased concentration and alertness, problem-solving and improved memory.
In the past, I have used apps like NOISLI and ROFOCUS. These apps provide a Pomodoro Timer and environmental sounds simulating a coffee shop, train tracks, rain or the wind to help you concentrate. They also come as Chrome extensions, making them accessible through a single click. If you are having challenges concentrating, put your phone in another room when working and play one of these suggestions the next time you are struggling with focusing or have an impending deadline.
Weekly Breathwork Tip
Tis the season for scarf-wearing, gift-giving, and chocolate indulging. It is also time of year for seasonal congestion. If this is you, or someone you know, share this tip with them from the Oxygen Advantage. Sit up straight, gently inhale and exhale through the nose, then pinch both nostrils shut. Shake your head gently up and down and then from side to side until you feel a moderate urge to breathe. Take a big inhale, go back to normal breathing and repeat the exercise 3-4 times as necessary.
Quote I’m resonating with…
Life can happen to you, or life can happen through you.
Vishen Lakhiani
There was a period in my life when I often used the victim card to feel sorry for myself. I would ask myself the question, ‘Why me? Why is this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? Look at this person or that person -they are so fortunate.’ During periods of hardship, this would be the auto-pilot perspective I would assume. It was not until I took a Growth Mindset to reframe challenging situations in my life. Now, during tough situations, I ask myself, ‘What am I supposed to learn or how am I to grow from this situation?’. This has been one of the most powerful mindset shifts I have come across. When this became my default, it gave me back the power instead of feeling like I was unfairly being targeted. This quote also reminds me that nothing happens ‘to us’. We are a part of the eternal consciousness where everything is just ‘happening’. Similar to a drop of water in the ocean, we come from the same source. It is only when our mind separates us from the universe through the ego that we identify with the illusion of duality.
Action Items
Try to do an act of kindness daily for the next 10 days. Journal about how it made you feel and see if others who spend a lot of time with you notice anything different about you over this period. This simple strategy will bring more love to yourself and you will feel more connected to everything around you.
If you have a Spotify account, add the ‘Brain Food’ playlist or a binaural beat playlist like ld recommend adding this playlist.
Think back to a challenging time in your life when you felt frustrated and unable to cope - like your world was collapsing. Guess what, you made it through it and most likely you also changed through the process. During periods of challenge, remind yourself that all things pass. This is one instance where reflecting on the past can help you manage thoughts in the present moment.