Learning from Misogy

The benefits of pushing past our comfort levels

I’m fresh off completing my third quarter Misogy and I wanted to share my experience and learnings. For those of you who haven’t read my newsletter on Misogy - you can check it out here.

As a quick refresher, a Misogy is a challenge you undertake that pushes you past your comfort level. It has a 50% chance of being completed, and you don’t prepare or train for it. The purpose is to push your limits and reach that pivotal point where you feel like giving up. Persevering through this point builds resilience and reminds you that you can do hard things. 

For this quarter’s Misogy, I brought a friend and we did a 5hr kayak ride in Lake Ontario. This may not seem like much, but I've only been on a kayak a handful of times and it seemed like something that would challenge me. I also chose this because I have had chronic shoulder and neck issues and wanted to push past pain points that have previously limited my mobility. 

What I found interesting was that although we were doing the same activity, my friend and I had different fears. He couldn’t swim and for him, just going on a kayak in the middle of the lake was growth. For me, it was more about being uncomfortable and pushing through the pain that I thought I would encounter. These fears stemmed from past experiences and it’s important to appreciate that people have different responses to events due to conditioning and personal past experiences. Once we got over these fears, our minds needed something else to ‘worry’ about. Sitting for that length of time proved to be the most uncomfortable part of the journey. Our hips, glutes, and legs all fell asleep a number of times and our backs were sore after completing the 5hr trek. 

During the trip, a strap broke off our kayak making it much harder to paddle. This was a reminder that sometimes things don’t go as planned, and accepting what happens in life is the key to moving forward. We could have complained and kept thinking about the past but that would have tainted the rest of the experience.

Towards the back end of the trip, I could see why kayakers wake up at the crack of dawn to go into 60F water for hours. When you get the hang of paddling, you get into a rhythm that is similar to a runner feeling the endorphins while pushing themselves past personal bests. Rather than thinking about my sore legs or arms, I focused on my rhythm. It wasn’t like there wasn’t any pain, the pain was still there but my focus was elsewhere so the less attention I paid to the uncomfortable, the more I enjoyed the moment. This is similar to what happens in life. We experience what we pay attention to. If we are stressed at work and we complain or replay the victim story in our heads, we feel more stress. If we re-focus on what we are grateful for, our posture, energy, and attitude will greatly improve. 

While in the middle of the lake, it felt like I was stranded in the desert. While staring at the water, the repeated waves would form patterns similar to how the wind pushes sand in the desert. It reminded me of staring at those 3D pictures in high school. At points, I saw checkerboard patterns, and mountains in the waves, and at times the water looked like a layer of fog was draped over them. By letting my mind wander, I found the experience similar to staring into the sky and seeing shapes and animals in the clouds. When we see a body of water we feel at peace. Why? I believe it is because the water itself is at peace.

At one point we agreed to be silent and do a sound meditation. No speaking, just listening. It was interesting to observe the mind jumping around and trying to keep itself busy. I noticed how busy it became and it was a reminder of how much the mind craves attention. After 3-4 minutes I focused on a single focal point and the rhythm of my paddling. Life can be just like this. By focusing less on the noise around us, we can be present with everything that is around us. We can really experience the world as it exists. Nature and the world in general are truly something to be enjoyed if we can immerse ourselves in its beauty. The next time you are in nature, give the mind the opportunity to rant and rave, and when it's done, you will soon settle into a quiet place. At this point, take a few breaths and be thankful for your ability to appreciate simply what is. 

ACTION STEPS

1. Decide on your own Misogy from now until the end of the year. Share your learnings and experiences with me. 

2. The next time you find yourself in nature, be silent. Just listen to the sounds around you. Picture yourself in the same spot you are standing in but pretend it was 200 years ago. What would someone who lived back then hear? 

3. The next time you exercise (walk, run, use the elliptical or kayak), try to feel the rhythm of your body. Try not to question anything and just feel. It may take 5-10 minutes for your monkey mind to settle. Be patient and sink into that space.