The COVID-19 pandemic has had profound effects on society. Although all of us have faced challenges and hardships, there have been some interesting and serendipitous effects that have emerged. One such impact has been the openness to discussing the importance of our mental well-being. Before the pandemic, many of us were snoozing through life. We would get up, go to work, spend some time with our family and then go to bed. Rinse and repeat. All of us experienced varying levels of suffering during the pandemic; depending on our perspective and actions, it either made us less happy or more resilient. Now I just used the ‘R’ word. I think it is worthwhile to distinguish between ‘GRIT’ and ‘RESILIENCE’. As Angela Lee Duckworth eloquently explains during her viral Ted Talk,
GRIT is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is working hard for years to make that future a reality. It’s your inherent work ethic to succeed.
RESILIENCE is how you respond to a situation of suffering.
We don’t fail, we fall. Our success depends on our ability to get up and try again.
One of the most reliable ways to measure resilience is Heart Rate Variability (HRV). HRV measures the time variability between heartbeats. The first time I heard about HRV I assumed the more consistent the variability between beats, the higher one’s HRV. However, the opposite is true. We want more variability between heartbeats because when we are faced with a challenging situation, our hearts can more easily adapt and return to a state of equilibrium faster (ie. get back to being regulated). Devices like the Apple Watch, Whoop, and the Oura Ring have their own HRV algorithms. This is relevant because an HRV of 35 on an Apple Watch is not the same as an HRV of 35 on an Oura Ring. The number is not as significant as your baseline and trend.
As I studied the power of our breath, I learned that changing the way you breathe is one of the most effective ways to improve your HRV. Regular, longer inhales through the belly and nose coupled with equally regular, long exhales are one of the most effective ways to increase HRV. The peak improvement is reached by performing a 5s inhale and 5s exhale. Other factors that can improve your HRV include sleep quality and duration, stress reduction, healthy eating, physical activity, and cold exposure.
As I continued to explore the rabbit hole of HRV, I learned about the Heartmath Institute. This is a non-profit organization that researches and develops reliable, scientifically based tools that bridge the connection between heart and mind and deepen people’s connection with others' hearts. This empowers people to greatly reduce stress, increase resilience and unlock their natural intuitive guidance for making better choices.
Heartmath taught me about how heart-focused breathing can instantaneously transition from a dysregulated to a regulated state. This has been one of the most valuable tools I have used in keeping calm with my two young kids. It has also helped me react less, and respond better to challenging situations.
The resilience expert, Lucy Hone, shares a powerful and heartbreaking story about how she found herself on the other side of the equation after losing her 12-year-old daughter and best friend in a car accident.
She shares her three secrets for resilient people. Based on her personal experience, she found resilient people:
Realize that bad shit happens to everyone, but it passes.
Control what is controllable, while somehow accepting the things that cannot be controlled.
Ask themselves the question; ‘Is what I’m doing right now helping me or harming me?’ This puts us back into the driver's seat and gives us back autonomy over our decision-making.
ACTION ITEMS
Checkout heart focussed breathing from the Heartmath Institute by listening to a guided practice here. Practice this for 1 minute 2-3 times a day and you will be surprised at how much this quick and simple technique grounds you.
Look into getting a device to track your HRV. Experiment with sleep duration and quality, healthy eating, coherent breathing, increasing physical activity, and cold exposure to see how you can increase your HRV.
Throughout the day, ask yourself the important question; ‘Is what I’m doing right now helping or harming me.’ This question directs you into the present moment and improves your level of awareness.