What I'm thinking about…
Emotions. I am generally against labels because I feel they put things into a box and eliminate the innate originality of things. For example, when we call a bird a sparrow we start looking at all sparrows as being the same rather than appreciating the fact that each is unique. However, when it comes to emotions I think labels help communicate feelings. As a dad to a 2 and 4-year-old, I have read a lot of children’s books over the past few years. My 2-year-old daughter recognizes facial expressions in books and will point out when a character is sad, mad, or happy. When reading books I have found it challenging to label other emotions. Part of the reason why (as I am sure is the case with many of my male counterparts), is because I was not a very expressive child growing up. I kept most of my emotions bottled up and cared too much about how others looked and thought about me. Recently, I came across an emotion wheel. I have found this tool has helped me express my feelings when journaling as well as expand the vocabulary I use with my children. Regardless of your age, this is a useful tool to help you express emotions with others in your life.
What I’m listening to…
Hymns of Spirit by Beautiful Chorus. I played this song after many months and was instantly taken back to the first time I heard it while on a retreat. The lyrics speak to feeling the inner peace that we each have accessible to us at every moment of the day. Like many of you, I have experienced periods where my heart shuts down. Listening to this song while focussing on hearing the sounds through my ears and feelings with my heart has helped me reconnect with myself in a beautiful and uplifting way. Perhaps it can do the same for you?
Weekly Breathwork Tip
I recently gave a presentation to a group of employees where we discussed a useful breathing technique to improve focus. This is a 4-7-8s routine involving a 4s inhale through the nose, 7s breath hold and long 8s exhale with vocal toning. The twist on this technique is to start the inhalation through the left nostril only - with the right nostril closed. Both nostrils are pinched during the breath hold, and this is followed by the exhale of air through the opposite nostril. This is repeated with the second round starting with an inhale from the right nostril and ending with an exhale through the left nostril. 10-15 rounds of this exercise will leave you feeling focused and ready to tackle your next task.
Quote I’m resonating with…
When meaning is given to suffering, it ceases to be suffering.
Viktor Frankl
Viktor Frankl’s book, A Man’s Search for Meaning, is one of the classics of our time. It had such a profound impact on me that I gifted it to friends who attended my Bachelor ‘get-together’. Who gives books at a bachelor getaway - yes that would be me. I suppose I was being inspired by Oprah, but I couldn’t afford to give everyone a car! Viktor Frankl is a holocaust survivor who shared his experience living in four concentration camps during WWII. In his book, he shares that although suffering is inevitable and a part of life, our response to what we experience can provide meaning to it. This aligns with the common idea of a Growth Mindset, that I have spoken about before. Suffering is just a perspective. Life is a roller coaster full of ups and downs. Taking a different perspective, I invite you to see how our minds often label challenging times as being hard or difficult. For example, when you are going through something with a partner, one view is to look at this as insurmountable and stressful. By reframing the situation, one can look at the same issue as an opportunity to provide healing and make the bond even stronger than it was before. With this new lens, the suffering transforms into a lesson or stepping stone helping you get to better things ahead. Put another way, rather than fighting against the tide, sometimes it makes more sense to allow it to carry you so you can maneuver your way to safety.
Action Items
When journalling, take out this emotion wheel and see if you can use the outer layers of words to provide more clarity on your feelings. This can be especially useful in conversations with others to help them better understand your feelings.
Listen to Hymns of Spirit and take 3 minutes to reconnect with yourself in this moment before you. Click here to listen to it.
Practice the 4-7-8 breathing technique explained above before a presentation, important meeting, or big client call. It will bring you to the present moment with a sense of clarity and focus.
Thanks for the book recommendation! Sounds like something I can use right now